Something To Talk About
by Cress
Summary: Joey:Chandler slash. Monica finds out the guys' secret and gossips with Rachel.
1. Save Me

Takes place after episode 221, TOW The Bullies.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chandler returned from Central Perk slightly bruised, and Joey sat up. "Whoa, you okay?"  
  
"It's not as bad as it looks. I tripped over a girl's jump rope."  
  
"Huh? What happened to the bullies?"  
  
"It's okay. Ross and I were gonna fight them, but first we put all our keys and watches into my hat for safekeeping, and these other guys ran off with the hat. So the four of us ran after and got our stuff back. Actually just the three of them, because as I said, I tripped over a girl's jump rope and was knocked out for several minutes."  
  
"Let me get you some ice for that." Joey rose and went over to the fridge.  
  
"Thanks, man." He took a seat on one of the stools.  
  
"No problem. And are you sure it's over with the bullies? 'Cause I'll come down there with you and settle it if you need me to."  
  
"I know." Chandler smiled a little, touched. "No, everything's cool now. Ross was kinda right; it did feel good to face up to those guys ourselves, but God, I was scared for a while. If I ever need help again, I'll be sure to let you know."  
  
"I'll be there!" Joey put the ice pack gently against Chandler's bruise. "You got it?"  
  
Chandler took hold of the ice pack. "Yeah, I got it."  
  
"And is that it? You didn't twist your ankle or anything?"  
  
He shook his head. "You worry too much about me."  
  
"I have to. Without you, I'd have to pay rent."  
  
They both laughed, and Chandler smiled indulgently at his unemployed friend. He was happy to let Joey sponge off of him, especially after having that psychotic Eddie for a roommate and seeing how much worse things could be. Joey may not have chased away the bullies today, but he had certainly helped kick Eddie out for good.  
  
Chandler used to wistfully remember the fact that his old roommate Kip always paid his half of the bills, but now the money didn't matter anymore, and he truly appreciated Joey as the best roommate, and the best friend, he ever had.  
  
"I'm so glad you're here," he said. "You know, you moving back in." Chandler often found himself saying that lately, out of the blue like that.  
  
Joey flashed that dazzling smile of his. "I'm glad to be back."  
  
They looked at each other fondly and were on the verge of hugging again, just like when Joey first came home, but then Chandler had to stop and switch hands in holding the ice pack. "My hand's cold," he commented.  
  
"Here." Joey took the cold hand in both of his and began rubbing it warm. He kept his eyes locked on Chandler's as he did so, and soon there was a different, wordless heat between them.  
  
Chandler suddenly dropped the ice pack in the sink, and Joey pulled him close for a kiss, full on the mouth. Chandler moaned softly as they exchanged another hungry kiss and moved to the couch in the living room. They sank against the cushions together and made out like teenagers.  
  
"Joey," Chandler spoke breathlessly as he slid his hands up under Joey's shirt, making him shiver. "Do you have any condoms?"  
  
"Yeah," he answered. "In my room."  
  
"Let's go." They quickly left and closed Joey's door behind them. 


	2. Time Warp

Getting naked and into the bed, they made love urgently, although somewhat clumsily due to their inexperience in gay sex. Joey cleaned up after them with a towel before coming back and laying beside him again. He glanced at the fresh bruises he had left on Chandler's body. "I didn't hurt you bad, did I? It's just, I never did it with a guy before."  
  
"Me neither." Chandler just smiled at him and didn't seem to mind at all.  
  
Joey ran a hand down Chandler's chest. "I'll bet if I had gone to an all boys' high school like you did, I would've had a lot more practice by now."  
  
Chandler laughed. "It wasn't exactly a Victorian-era boarding school in England, but yeah, there were a lot of horny teenage boys, and some clearly open to experimentation."  
  
"But you weren't one of those?"  
  
"Nope." He shrugged. "I guess I was a late bloomer or something."  
  
Joey smiled and looked at Chandler's face closely. "Were you cute in high school?"  
  
He scoffed. "You wouldn't have even looked twice at me. You'd be one of the cool kids, making us geeks feel inferior."  
  
"Ah, come on. You weren't a geek--not like Ross was, and is."  
  
"Well I guess I was more of a chain-smoking misfit, telling sarcastic jokes to deflect attention from my freakish family life."  
  
Joey happily imagined a young Chandler. "Maybe I'd have bummed a cigarette off you one day, you'd make a joke, and we'd get to talking."  
  
"You don't smoke! More likely you'd hear from the boys in my gym class about my third nipple and come to gawk at it."  
  
Joey chuckled and lightly teased Chandler's nubbin. "Or maybe, you know, I'd save you from some bullies."  
  
He looked intrigued and smiled. "You'd save me, like always."  
  
Joey nodded, meeting his eyes. "And we'd start hanging out like buddies, until one day we'd both want more, like now." He kissed Chandler again and pulled him closer.  
  
***  
  
That evening, Joey and Chandler were resting in bed when Ross called, reminding them that everybody was meeting at the 1950s theme diner, Monica's new place of employment.  
  
"What are you guys still doing at home? Everybody else is here."  
  
"Oh, um, we're so sorry!" Chandler sat up. "We, uh, we lost the address."  
  
"Well, get a piece a paper and I'll give it to you again."  
  
"Okay, okay, just a second." He covered the phone and told Joey they were late for the diner. "Do you still have the address?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I'll get it." He got out of bed.  
  
Chandler talked to Ross again. "It's okay. Joey just found it. We'll be right there. Sorry."  
  
"Good. We'll be waiting. Oh, and bring a lot of quarters for the jukebox!"  
  
As they hurried to dress and catch up with the others, Joey asked, "Hey, should we mention... you know, us, to everybody?"  
  
Chandler shrugged. "I don't know. Should we blurt out stuff like that in a diner full of strangers who can overhear? If we're gonna do that, we should be in Central Perk at least! Hey, you got any quarters for laundry?"  
  
"We don't have time to do laundry now!"  
  
"No! Apparently there's a jukebox that Ross is all excited about."  
  
"Oh, well make sure he pays us back. Well, you, I mean."  
  
Chandler gave him a kiss and smiled. "Quarters?"  
  
"I'll get 'em."  
  
By the time they arrived at the diner, everyone was having so much fun teasing Monica about her new job, with the costumes and the required dancing to the YMCA, that Joey and Chandler just never mentioned what they'd been doing that day. 


	3. Giving the Vibe

The next day, since Joey had no auditions to go to, Chandler called in sick to work and they spent a lustful day at home. In between rounds of take-out food and rest, they experimented in both their beds, on the couch, leaning against the white dog statue, and other places around their apartment.  
  
The guys were doing it on their couch again, oblivious to the outside world, when Monica sneaked in to steal the TV guide as always. They didn't even hear her soft gasp before she left.  
  
Back in the hallway, Monica composed herself for a moment, then returned to her apartment.  
  
"So where is it?" Rachel asked, sitting in front of the TV with the remote.  
  
"Huh?" Then Monica realized. "Oh, I couldn't find the TV guide. They must have hid it really well. I told you Chandler was onto us."  
  
"Rats!" She flipped to the preview channel and tried to find something good to watch.  
  
Monica sat down on the couch and twiddled her thumbs nervously. Finally she got up the courage to speak. "Um, Rachel, do you ever get the feeling that Joey and Chandler are a little too... close?"  
  
Rachel threw down the remote and turned to her, relieved. "Oh my God, yes! Thank you! I was so worried about saying something because I haven't known them as long as the rest of you guys."  
  
"So you see it too?"  
  
"How can I not? At first I thought it was just Chandler giving the vibe, but it's Joey, too! I mean, I know Chandler sleeps with women, and Joey sleeps with *a lot* of women, but hello, they totally dig each other!"  
  
"I know!" Monica felt more relaxed and encouraged. "In fact, I bet that one of these days I'll walk in to find them secretly doing it."  
  
Rachel giggled. "You are so bad! Wouldn't that be wild? Joey humping Chandler like Marcel on my Barbie doll."  
  
"You'd think that's how it would be, but really--" She suddenly realized what she was saying. "But really, I wouldn't know if it would be that way, or some other way."  
  
Rachel didn't catch Monica's slip-up, being too busy laughing hysterically about a memory of Joey and Chandler. "Remember, remember when they kissed at the New Year's party? Ross still has the photo somewhere." 


	4. Knowing Too Much

Later, when Monica went back across the hall to tell the guys that dinner was ready, she made sure to knock, very loudly, and wait for the door to be opened by Chandler, who thankfully was fully dressed.  
  
Monica tried not to look at him in a weird way. "Hey, you guys are coming to dinner, right?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." He called back to Joey, who was sitting in a chair looking at Chandler's high school yearbook, "Joe, come on, it's time for dinner."  
  
"Okay," he reluctantly put away the yearbook and joined them.  
  
The whole gang arrived at Monica and Rachel's for dinner, and it seemed like any old night talking with their friends, except for Monica's intimate knowledge of Joey and Chandler's sex life. She found the whole dinner surreal, and privately wondered whether she ought to tell the guys that she knew, or find some way to nudge them into revealing their secret activities.  
  
By the time dinner was over, Monica remained undecided.  
  
Just then, Rachel pulled her aside and discreetly pointed to Joey and Chandler, who sat together on the couch. "Look at that!" she whispered to Monica. "Aren't they cute?"  
  
Monica nodded. Joey's arm was around Chandler's shoulders, or rather the back of the couch behind him, and Chandler in turn occasionally touched Joey or glanced at him while he was talking to the group.  
  
***  
  
After everybody headed home, Monica started up the conversation with Rachel again. "Hey Rach, let me ask you something. What if Joey and Chandler were really doing it? Do you think they'd tell anybody?"  
  
"Hmm. Interesting question, Mon." She shrugged. "I don't know. Chandler's kind of uptight about his gay dad, you notice? And Joey's from a big Catholic family. Who knows if he'd view screwing Chandler any differently than screwing lots of girls? Heck, who knows if they're really doing it or not?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"What's with all the questions today?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," she dismissed her interest. "I was just thinking about you and Ross together. Me and Richard. Maybe Joey and Chandler could be a couple too. Then there'd be just Phoebe left to find somebody, you know?"  
  
"You're such a romantic. But when you think about it, even if they were doing each other, Joey and Chandler might not be a 'couple' couple; they might just be sex buddies, using each other as a convenience when they're not dating women."  
  
"You think? What about how cute they are, and the way they're always touching and looking at each other? What about how much they missed each other when Joey moved out?"  
  
"Sure we see it, but the guys? Who knows?"  
  
"No," Monica shook her head, unconvinced by Rachel's argument. "Joey can get a date any night of the week; he doesn't have long dry spells like Chandler. So if Joey ever crossed the line with him, it would have to be as more than just a sex buddy, don't you think?"  
  
"Maybe." Rachel shrugged, losing interest in the hypothetical situation.  
  
Monica reluctantly gave the questions a rest and went to bed to sleep on her dilemma. 


	5. Decisions, Decisions

While working at the diner the next day, Monica realized that she didn't have to keep fretting so much about this secret. "It can't be that much of a secret," she argued to herself, "not if the guys are doing it right there in the living room, without even locking their door. They're practically asking to get caught!"  
  
Monica decided to just walk in on Joey and Chandler again, but this time she'd make noise about it and have a witness to confirm her story. She could bring Rachel, since they'd already discussed the possibility and found it cute. Then they'd quickly tell the rest of the gang, and finally the secret would be out in the open. Even better, if Joey and Chandler were up to discussing it with everybody, Monica could find out whether they were actually a couple, or just sex buddies, like Rachel said.  
  
The romantic side of her hoped that the guys were in love, or as much in love as they'd ever admit to each other. Monica could hardly wait to get home from work.  
  
***  
  
Unable to stay home for another day, Chandler reluctantly went to work. He hated his boring job even more than usual, and his mind kept drifting back to Joey. Besides bullies and crazy roommates, Joey was always ready to save Chandler from boredom. They could talk about anything, or play foosball, or just drink beer and watch TV.  
  
In fact, the only times that Joey wasn't there for Chandler were the times when Joey had a hot date, and Chandler had none. Listening to Joey have sex with some woman invariably made Chandler feel depressed. It took him quite a while to realize that he was jealous about Joey sleeping with someone else, rather than just sad about being alone.  
  
Now Chandler had the best of both worlds, a best friend and a lover. Someone to wake up with, like this morning, when Joey had groaned at the sound of Chandler's alarm and begged him not to go yet.  
  
"I'm sorry, I have to. Go back to sleep, Joe."  
  
"Stupid job! You should quit."  
  
"Then how would I pay our bills?"  
  
"I don't know, do that writing thing you always talk about."  
  
"That pays even worse than acting."  
  
Joey grinned happily. "Cool! Then I'd be supporting you."  
  
Chandler laughed, then sighed. "I've gotta get dressed."  
  
Joey let go of him, but the sad puppy dog look remained on his face.  
  
Chandler kissed him goodbye. "What are you doing around noon? You wanna come to my office and meet me for lunch?"  
  
"Okay." Joey kissed him back.  
  
Chandler could hardly wait to see him at lunch, and then after work, when they could make love again. Canceling their dinner plans with their friends would give them even more time together, so he decided to ask Joey to make excuses for them to get away tonight. It had been two nights in a row with the gang, after all.  
  
It occurred to Chandler that they had never got around to telling anybody about them, which was odd, since it would make things simpler if everybody did know. Well, maybe he and Joey would tell everybody tomorrow, or this weekend; such a revelation would probably lead to a long discussion with their friends, and right now, Chandler just wanted to stay caught up in this wonderful, passionate beginning. 


	6. Working Lunch

Chandler's secretary buzzed him from the outer office. "There's a Joey Tribbiani here to see you, Mr. Bing."  
  
"Yes! Show him in, please."  
  
Chandler jumped up from his desk and eagerly came forward to greet Joey.  
  
"Hey!" Joey smiled, holding one arm behind his back.  
  
Chandler hugged him tight. "I missed you! Hey, what d'you got there?"  
  
Joey revealed that he had brought a framed photo of himself as Dr. Drake Ramoray. "I thought, you know, something to cheer you up when you're stuck here all day." The photo was signed, "Quit your job! Love, Joey."  
  
"I only wish I could." Chandler kissed him, then put the frame on his desk and reached over to save the work on his computer. "Just let me get my coat, and we'll go."  
  
"Go where?"  
  
Chandler stared at him. "To lunch." Joey's occasional denseness was charming, but for him to forget a meal was unusual.  
  
"Oh, so you actually meant lunch?"  
  
"Yeah, what did you think I meant?"  
  
Joey laughed very softly and pulled Chandler into his arms again. Now who was the dense one?  
  
"Oh," Chandler blushed. He'd never had such an exciting offer from any of the girls he'd dated.  
  
"Your door locks, right?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Joey went to lock the door, while Chandler cleared his throat and buzzed his secretary. "Denise? Um, why don't you go ahead and leave for lunch now? In fact, take an extra half hour today."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Bing."  
  
As soon as they heard her leave, the guys were all over each other, frantically kissing and moving toward the desk. Then Chandler pulled out of Joey's embrace, warning, "Wait, let me move the picture frame someplace safe." He turned and started shifting the picture frame and other breakable items from his desk to the seat of his chair.  
  
Joey impatiently stopped Chandler and pulled him down to the floor, where they didn't have to worry about computer hardware or cables, which were confined to the desk. "Nice carpet," he commented as he undid Chandler's belt.  
  
Chandler moaned and got caught up in the sex again. He didn't care if his nice suit got rumpled, or if he got rug burn, or if rumors went around the office about the hot guy who had visited him during his so-called lunch. Some of his co-workers already thought he was gay, and those that didn't could find out today. 


	7. Rendezvous

That evening, Chandler came home from work and ran into Joey as he came upstairs. Chandler was about to hug him when Joey grabbed him by the arm and looked stern. "Dude! Did anybody see you?"  
  
"Yeah, 'cause I don't have my invisible powers yet."  
  
Joey rolled his eyes and walked past him to peer down the stairs and make sure nobody was there following.  
  
Chandler grinned with amusement. "Come on, don't worry about who saw me at work, 'cause--"  
  
Joey hushed him and pulled him inside their apartment, quickly locking the door. "I don't mean your work people, Chandler."  
  
"Then who?"  
  
"Shh! The girls could be home any second." Joey explained, "I told the gang that you had to work late, you know, and that's why you couldn't make it to dinner tonight."  
  
"Oh! Why didn't you call and tell me that?"  
  
"I did call, but your secretary got all giggly and kept gossiping with somebody else in the background. 'Ooh, Joey Tribbiani!' Ha-ha-ha," he imitated the secretary's laughter, along with the somebody else.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I heard her say that, and I thought she was just joking with her friend. A lot of people overheard us in my office, and it was the hottest gossip at work this afternoon." Chandler grinned proudly. "I got reprimanded for 'inappropriate use of the company premises'!"  
  
Joey smiled. "If we do it again, do you think you'll get fired?"  
  
Chandler laughed and hugged him. "Whoa, there! At least get yourself a steady job again before you think about supporting me."  
  
"Okay," Joey kissed him.  
  
Chandler sighed and felt great to be home again, in Joey's arms. "So what about you, huh? What was your excuse to skip out on dinner?"  
  
Joey hugged him tighter and shrugged. "I said that I'm having a date come over."  
  
"A date?" Chandler smiled. "Is that what I am, huh?"  
  
"Sure, why not? Just 'cause we started out as buddies doesn't mean I shouldn't treat you nice." He pointed to the kitchen. "Look, I'm gonna make dinner."  
  
"What?" Chandler turned and saw actual pots and pans sitting on the stovetop. Nearby was a paper bag of something else, maybe groceries. Although the pots and pans were still empty, Chandler was nonetheless amazed. "You're cooking?"  
  
"Hey, I can cook! More than just eggs and oatmeal. I just don't do it much because of all the stuff to clean, and I like pizza and sandwiches just fine. Anyway, I went and borrowed some stuff from my mom today, so I'll fix you up a nice meal."  
  
"Aw, you didn't have to go to any trouble, Joey."  
  
"No, I want to, and I can't exactly afford to take you out anywhere. Besides, you need to eat more. You're too skinny lately."  
  
Chandler laughed. "So what are you making?"  
  
"It's a surprise. Now go get ready."  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Yeah, take a shower, put on some nice clothes..."  
  
"Oh, you mean like a real date?"  
  
"It is a real date. Go on. I gotta cook."  
  
"Okay." Chandler shrugged and kissed him. "At least I know that I'll be having sex at the end of this date."  
  
"Hey, if you play your cards right, who knows how many times you'll have sex tonight?"  
  
Chandler did a little happy dance, then went into his bedroom to pick out some clothes. 


	8. Good To Me

By the time that Chandler finished getting ready for the date, Joey was turning off the heat on the stove and giving the pasta a final stir. "Hey," he smiled at Chandler, and quickly put the lid back on. "Wait, can you sit down in the living room first? I'm gonna go change my clothes. Just don't touch the food, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Chandler reluctantly sat down and waited. "Mmm, that food smells good!"  
  
"Don't touch it!" Joey yelled from within his bedroom.  
  
"I'm not touching it!" As he waited, Chandler glanced at the foosball table and saw that Joey hadn't just put the glass cover on top like usual; he had actually set the table this time, using a real tablecloth and candles. "Wow, it doesn't even look like a foosball table anymore!"  
  
Joey soon emerged from his bedroom, looking hot as usual.  
  
"Hey," Chandler smiled as he got up from the leather recliner. "Who would know you've been slaving over a hot stove?"  
  
Joey came over and kissed him. "You look good. Come on, let's eat." They headed to the kitchen, and Chandler took a seat while Joey dished out the food onto their plates and said what kind of pasta it was. Something Italian. "Not too hard to cook, and it tastes great."  
  
"Cool!" Chandler tasted the pasta and loved it. "Mmm! Maybe you should be a chef, Joe."  
  
He laughed. "I'm not that good. My mom's is way better."  
  
"Tastes fine to me." Chandler gulped down another mouthful.  
  
Joey was pleased, but then he reached for a drink and realized that there wasn't one on the table. "Oh wait, I forgot!" He got up from the table and pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge.  
  
"What, no beer?" Chandler smiled.  
  
Joey quickly opened the bottle and poured the wine into a couple of coffee mugs.  
  
Chandler found this unbelievably cute. "So what did you tell your mom when you borrowed all this nice stuff? Candles and tablecloth and everything. And wine," he took the mug that Joey handed him as he returned to the table.  
  
Joey shrugged. "You know, I told her I had a date I wanted to impress."  
  
"Yeah, but you never do stuff like this, Joe. You know, you might have given her the idea that this girl is kinda special, like you're gonna settle down and marry her or something."  
  
Joey laughed. "Yeah, Ma really wanted to know your name, and she kept asking when she was gonna get to meet you. I almost said, 'You already met Chandler,' but I didn't want to give her a heart attack."  
  
Chandler laughed. "And how would your dad take it?" Then he gulped and turned deathly pale as he realized. "Oh God, he would come over and kill me, wouldn't he?"  
  
"Hey, no, no, no!" Joey squeezed Chandler's hand reassuringly. "He'd have to kill me first, and I'm his own flesh and blood. His only son."  
  
"Yeah," Chandler calmed down and looked relieved. "Yeah, you'd save me." He sighed and went back to eating.  
  
Joey pondered it some more. "I don't know how Pop would react, for sure. He's never been in this kind of situation before. I mean, I guess he'd be upset and shocked for a while. Maybe he'd think that my going into 'show business' made me less manly or something, or that I've just been living with you too long. But I'm sure we could talk some sense into him. Make him see, you know, how good you are to me." He met Chandler's eyes and smiled.  
  
"And you're good to me." Chandler kissed him and fondly squeezed Joey's hand. Then he laughed again and shook his head. "Anyway, we won't be telling your parents, or mine, any time soon, you know?"  
  
Joey nodded along. He knew all about Chandler's commitment phobia, and he was in no rush. "Hey, by the way, when are we gonna tell Monica, Rachel, and all of them?"  
  
"Oh, I was just thinking about that today. Well, I know it can't be tonight, 'cause you promised me some sex, and there's no mood-breaker like having all your friends around gaping at you in shock," he chuckled. "So how about tomorrow? We could say, um, 'Hey, Mon, sorry we both missed dinner at your place last night, but we actually--we lied about why we didn't come.' Then after Monica throws a fit about us lying to her, we'd say, 'We lied because--because we have a secret, you know, thing to tell you guys.'"  
  
"Cool!" Joey said. "Then what?"  
  
"I don't know. Why don't you contribute something? Why am I doing all the talking?"  
  
Joey shrugged. "I guess, um, we'd say that you and me, you know, we've always been close and now we're, um, closer. And then I'd, like, put my arm around you." He got up and moved to Chandler's side of the table, squeezing onto his chair and putting his arm around Chandler. "Like this, you know?"  
  
Chandler smiled. "Ah, show, rather than tell. Good idea. But, you know, you always put your arm around me. You'd have to kiss me or something for them to get it."  
  
"Or, you know," he looked at Chandler suggestively, "you could sit on my lap. Huh?"  
  
Chandler glanced sharply at Joey, but then he thought, "Why not?" so he went ahead and sat on Joey's lap, feeling a little embarrassed. "Wow! This is like some twisted version of Santa's lap."  
  
Joey happily hugged him close. "Remember? I played Santa at the mall a few Christmases ago. You should've come by then and told me all your Christmas wishes."  
  
"What, in front of all the kiddies waiting in line? That's just too weird."  
  
"Okay, then how about after the mall closed? I could sneak my costume home and we could play Santa right here, in private. It could've, you know, been fun."  
  
Chandler shook his head. "As much as I like these what-if fantasies of yours, Joey, I'm not really turned on by the white beard and the red suit."  
  
"Okay. Point is, we should've got together a long time ago." They kissed, then Joey saw that Chandler hadn't finished his plate of pasta yet. "Hey, I told you to eat up! Come on, I'll feed ya." He loaded up a fork in preparation.  
  
"Hey, no!" Chandler refused. "I'm not a baby."  
  
"Then how come you let me call you 'baby' last night?" Joey looked at him devilishly.  
  
Chandler shook his head and laughed. "You should be glad that you're so darn irresistible."  
  
"I am," he answered confidently.  
  
Chandler ran his hands through Joey's hair and kissed his temple. "You're so cute."  
  
Joey gestured to the remaining food again. "Come on, I gotta fatten you up."  
  
"What, so you can eat me?" He blushed when he realized what he'd said.  
  
"We'll see," Joey whispered. 


	9. Date, Interrupted

Joey was feeding Chandler, who was actually getting into it and licking sauce off Joey's fingers, when suddenly someone tried to open their door.  
  
"Shoot!" Monica said softly. "*Now* they lock their door?"  
  
Joey prevented Chandler from speaking, then called out, "Monica? Is that you?"  
  
"Oh, uh, uh..." Monica started laughing nervously, clearly caught off guard. "Hey, Joey, what are you doing?"  
  
"I have a date, remember?"  
  
"Oh, uh..." She kept laughing, out of control.  
  
Then Rachel apparently came into the hallway. "Okay, Monica, what's so urgent that I have to come now?"  
  
"Hey, Rach! I, um, I was going across the hall, but um, Joey locked the door here. Why'd you lock the door, Joey?"  
  
"'Cause I have a date!" Joey repeated. "A little privacy, please?"  
  
"No, wait, wait!" Monica was near to panicking. "Okay, listen, um, all of us just finished up with dinner over here and I was just wondering, you know, if you and your date wanna come have coffee with us and talk?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" Rachel agreed. "Come on, Joey, I want to meet this mysterious no-name date of yours that's so hot you had to ditch us at the last minute."  
  
"No!" Joey replied. "Sorry, um, my date's really shy and we--we can't come over right now. Maybe some other time."  
  
"Please," Monica begged.  
  
"Monica," Rachel interrupted. "Come on, he just said no. Maybe they're, ahem, busy."  
  
"I know that!" Monica said. "I was counting on that!"  
  
"What?" Rachel said.  
  
Joey and Chandler looked at each other, puzzled.  
  
"I mean, I mean..." Monica struggled for words.  
  
Soon Richard also arrived in the hallway, attracted by the sound of his girlfriend's raised voice. "Honey, what's wrong? Don't tell me--you're mad that Joey cancelled so late?"  
  
"No! I mean yes, but then no, because I realized the reason why he cancelled."  
  
"He has a date?" Richard ventured.  
  
"Yeah, no big deal," Rachel added.  
  
"Arggh!" Monica spelled it out for them. "Don't you see? Chandler had to work late? Joey's not showing up for free food?" She banged on Joey's door and yelled accusingly, "I know you've got Chandler in there with you! Chandler's your date, and you're hiding from us!"  
  
Joey gasped at how accurate Monica was. Chandler's eyes went wide.  
  
"What?!" Rachel replied in disbelief.  
  
Richard didn't sound convinced, either. "What makes you say that, honey?"  
  
"Oh!" Rachel realized. "Oh, I think all that gossiping we were doing must have gone to your head, Monica."  
  
"It did not go to my head! Why do you think I brought it up to begin with? It's just like what we were talking about. They're secretly having sex. I know it!"  
  
"How?" Richard asked, trying to calm her down. "I mean, I know Chandler seems a little... iffy, let's say--"  
  
"He doesn't just 'seem'! He is!" She pounded on Joey and Chandler's door again. "Come on! Open this door!"  
  
Ross and Phoebe came out too, attracted by all the noise.  
  
"What's going on?" Ross asked his sister.  
  
"Joey is hiding Chandler in there, and they won't come out! They're lovers!"  
  
"Wha-huh?" Ross responded incredulously.  
  
"Wow! Is that true, Joey?" Phoebe asked, actually seeming to believe Monica.  
  
"No, no!" Joey answered, but then Chandler stopped him from making another excuse. Chandler shook his head and kissed him.  
  
"We were gonna tell them anyway," he whispered.  
  
"Yeah," Joey nodded.  
  
Chandler took a swig of wine, then got up from Joey's lap and went to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open for all to see.  
  
Rachel and Ross both gasped. Richard stood there blinking, while Monica looked smug. Phoebe smiled and was not entirely surprised.  
  
Chandler's shirt was half-unbuttoned and his hair was all messed up. The remnants of a romantic candlelit dinner were clearly visible, as was Joey, who was in a similar state of disarray. Joey came up behind Chandler and put his arms around him.  
  
Chandler kissed him and nodded to Phoebe. "It's true."  
  
"Aw, how sweet! Congratulations!" Phoebe came over and hugged them, but she hit Joey's arm. "That's for lying to us!"  
  
"Sorry," Joey answered sheepishly.  
  
"Wait, wait a minute! I don't--I don't understand. How--how--?" Ross stammered.  
  
"Wow!" Rachel said and shook her head. "Discussing it hypothetically is one thing, but wow! I mean, wow!"  
  
Monica happily followed Phoebe's example, though she didn't hit anybody. "Congratulations! You're so cute together."  
  
Richard shrugged and shook their hands. "Well, um, good going, you two."  
  
Ross still couldn't grasp the concept. "But--but--! I need a drink!" He threw up his hands and headed back into Monica's apartment, looking for something stronger than coffee. Rachel followed after him.  
  
"Hey, um," Chandler said. "Do you guys mind moving this discussion out of the hallway?"  
  
"Sure, sure. Come on, my place!" Monica led the way.  
  
Joey and Chandler came along reluctantly, but they were both resigned to not having any privacy for a while now. 


	10. The Telling

"So tell us all about it!" Monica prompted excitedly when they all sat down. "When did it happen? Who came onto who? Was it mutual? Are you in love?"  
  
"Monica, Monica, take a breath," Rachel warned. "Or at least let them, you know?"  
  
"Sorry, sorry!"  
  
Ross still refused to believe. "Come on, you can't be gay! Joey, you're a ladies man. And Chandler--" He thought about it a moment. "You were my college roommate! Ugh!" He shuddered.  
  
"Ross," Chandler assured him, "I am not attracted to you. Never have been, never will be."  
  
"What?" Ross looked insulted. "What's wrong with me?"  
  
"I'm sorry. You're just too--" Chandler rejected "geeky", "annoying", "insecure", "wimpy", and finally settled on, "dedicated to science. Paleontology is your life, both at work and at home, and I'm--I'm just not strong enough to compete with that, but Rachel is."  
  
"Okay," Ross felt better now. "And I'm straight." He hugged Rachel close to him and kissed her as a proof of his heterosexuality.  
  
Monica impatiently threw a pillow at her brother. "Come on!" She looked at Joey and Chandler again. "So talk!"  
  
"Okay, um," Chandler began. "Believe me, I know how many women Joey has slept with. Well, actually, I only know about the women he's been with since he became my roommate. There were probably a lot more before that too. But when I'm with Joey..." He sighed wistfully, "Well, let's just say we've had sex, and he has got to be at least bisexual. And I like sleeping with Joey too--though that fact doesn't seem to surprise most of you."  
  
"Yeah, I kinda figured," the three girls murmured in unison.  
  
"Sorry," Richard said. "You just have a kind of..."  
  
"Quality!" Phoebe filled in for him.  
  
"That's it!" Richard pointed. "A quality."  
  
"Okay, okay," Chandler shrugged dismissively. "So, to answer one of your questions, Monica, we started sleeping together the same day that I got that bump on my head."  
  
"What?" Ross said. "You mean that same night that we all met at the diner?"  
  
"Yeah, that night, and that afternoon too."  
  
"Wow! Why?" Rachel asked.  
  
Chandler looked at Joey, who smiled back and finally spoke up. "We've been feeling kind of closer since I moved back in, you know? I... I just couldn't keep my hands off him any longer." He kissed Chandler again, and ached to be alone in their apartment.  
  
"Okay, boys, that's enough!" Phoebe said.  
  
"Sorry!" Chandler blushed.  
  
Joey continued the explanation. "So, anyway, we were gonna tell you guys, but it was the big night at the diner, and we just never got around to it. Now that you guys know, we won't lie to you when we need a night just for us, okay?"  
  
Everybody was okay with that.  
  
"So, so are you two in love?" Monica pestered.  
  
"Mon, it's only been a few days," Joey said, not wanting to rush Chandler at all.  
  
"Yeah, but you've been friends for so long! Shouldn't you know?"  
  
Chandler hugged Joey tight. "I know I never want him to move out again. I know that we're happy and I want us to stay happy. I know I'd rather be continuing my date with him right now, instead of sitting over here."  
  
"Aw!" Phoebe smiled, then shooed them away. "So what are doing here? Go, go! Finish your date. You can tell us about it tomorrow. We've heard enough for now."  
  
"Okay!" Joey and Chandler waved goodnight and hurried back across the hall.  
  
Monica was somewhat disappointed that she didn't get a straight answer from Chandler, but she realized that maybe she *was* jumping the gun a little bit. Ross and Rachel took their sweet time figuring out their feelings for each other, after all. Anyway, the guys at least seemed very cozy and affectionate, and Joey looked at Chandler with such obvious love, that they were probably on their way to a full-blown romance.  
  
Monica decided to be patient; at least the secret was out. Everybody kept talking about the big Joey and Chandler revelation for the rest of the evening. 


	11. Date, Continued

Alone at last, Joey and Chandler locked their door again and kissed hungrily.  
  
"Finally!" Chandler pulled them toward his bedroom. "So how many times do I get lucky tonight?"  
  
"Depends on how much 'Joey love' you can take," he teased.  
  
They quickly got naked and made love for most of the night. In whatever positions they took, Joey proved quite versatile and could arouse Chandler in ways that no one ever had before.  
  
Joey was passionate, but also incredibly sweet and tender at times. He cared about Chandler so much that it made their sex meaningful as well as hot. It pleased Chandler how much Joey moaned and responded to him, and it helped him forget about all the women Joey had slept with. Those women didn't matter; what mattered was the two of them now, as friends and lovers.  
  
That night, Chandler was half asleep when he heard Joey slip out of the bed. "Joey?" he sat up.  
  
"It's okay. You rest. I just remembered that I left all that food out. I gotta put the pots in the sink to soak, or I'll never get them clean. Ma would scream at me."  
  
So Joey left the room, and Chandler pondered Joey's recent homemaker tendencies. Then again, growing up with seven sisters didn't necessarily mean that he never did anything domestic. Surely sometimes he got nagged into helping out around the house a little; Joey babysat for his nieces and nephews, after all. He liked being taken care of, but he also liked taking care of other people too. With Chandler, Joey had both relationships in one.  
  
It seemed like they fit just perfectly together. Ever since they had become more than friends, Chandler realized that he was happy, really happy, and not freaked out about it at all. Could this happiness last a long time? Even forever? Maybe.  
  
Joey returned from the kitchen and slid into bed. "I put the leftovers in the fridge. You eat some more tomorrow, Chandler. You're too skinny."  
  
"You worry too much about me."  
  
"I can't help it. I like you."  
  
Chandler snuggled against him and smiled. *I love you*, he answered inside his head. Someday he would say it out loud, and Joey would too. 


End file.
